Coming back to dance when navigating fat-phobia. Pt. 1/3
Over the last year but truly these last few months we have talked about the ways in which size inclusion and fat phobia play HUGE roles in the way we feel embraced in dance and fitness spaces.
I often reflect on how many people made derogatory statements towards me about my body as a child while growing up training pre-pro in dance. The comments about my weight gain and then subsequent comments about my inability to find discipline (because I was/am a fat bodied person) and obviously my fatness always translated to lack of discipline/control/desire to be on stage.
Nothing could have been further from the truth. If there was a baby meant for the stage it was and still is me. From performance to direction to everything in between, I have been shaped and directed my entire life for a career in the arts. To have so many choreographers, teachers and ne’erdowels trying to steal that piece of my confidence as a child made me want to quit.
While I found my way into other spaces within dance and theatre, that didn’t stop the hit my confidence and self-esteem took with those words. It did challenge me when I thought about the training aspect of my work. I was weary of gyms and workout classes because those voices/those critiques came up heaviest the minute I set foot into a more fitness based space. I felt like - if I did this type of movement that everyone was doing to “get skinny and stay skinny” then I obviously believed the things that people said to me about myself.
What thoughts come up for when you’re trying to engage a new movement/fitness pathway?
For the longest time I could not separate my thoughts around the two. I battled myself for a long time on this. I did everything I could to avoid what felt like traditional fitness movements because of what it brought up for me.
Over the last few years, I have been investigating my relationship to this energy/thought. I keep this following idea as my focus/framework for going into the space. I make it clear what my intention is for showing up.
“Movement and dance are good for you spirit/body even off stage (beyond performance) and investing in that time does not inherently mean you want to be skinny but healthy, stronger, flexible, agile. “
From this place my mind is able to unlock a permission to explore and enjoy the challenge of different movements. It allows me to put a boundary around myself as a shield from those old critiques and cyclical thoughts that often lead to feeling demotivated and stuck in the shame spiral.
What types of affirmations can you give yourself as you are stepping into your new space?
How can you clearly identify your goals so you have a way to combat those old thoughts?
Here are three things that I want you to remember as you are making your way back onto the dance floor:
Start Small and Grow.
Don’t Ask For Permission.
Trust Your Body.
Start Small and Grow:
When you’re first coming back into a movement or dance practice the best thing that you can do for your physical and emotional wellbeing is to set incremental goals. Instead of reaching for 100 squats in 15 minutes for example, perhaps you look at doing 30 over a 15 minute period. We can often set ourselves up for distress, notice I did'n’t say failure, by aiming to far too soon. Give your body an opportunity to warm up to the new method of communication (your new dance or fitness practice) and naturally add more as you feel more comfortable. Consistency is key in the method which is also why I highly suggest starting small and working your way up. According to CBS News: “Researchers also said that 2000 steps a day lowered the risk of premature death by 8-11% increments up to 10,000 steps. The study also found that 9800 steps is the optimal goal and linked to a 50% lower risk of dementia. However, as low as 3800 steps a day reduced risk by 25%.” Starting small has so many benefits.
Don’t Ask for Permission.
Your journey is just that your journey. You don’t need anyone’s permission in your life to make a shift or a change. When you are ready to try something new instead of asking others what do they think, sit and reflect on why you want this experience and what you’re looking forward to. Give yourself a win by cutting through the noise of other people’s opinions. And when you are engaging and sharing details around your new practice, preface conversations with the type of response you are seeking from your listener. These responses can be celebration, praise, care, accountability, thought-partnering. Be as specific as possible so those around you know how best to support you.
Trust Your Body
When you’re starting a new practice it’s easy to want to push for what you see demonstrated in videos or classes by the teacher. While following the direction provided is always great remember you can always pause to assess if your body is in need of more support. This might look like: changing your shoes, using extra moisturizer to prevent cracks in vulnerable areas of skin, adding socks, yoga mat thickness, support pillow, back brace, heating pads, waist trainer, resistance bands, grabbing water, taking longer breaks for asthma, brining your inhaler, using a topical joint pain reliever. You have options and you do not have to push through painful experiences just to have a regular movement practice. Yes, movement can be challenging and it can also feel good in the process.
Are you ready to come back to dance?
I’ve got a couple options for you to explore in your personal care and wellness training:
Moving Through Holiday Stress Virtual Accountability + Restoration Session